Thursday, March 02, 2006

Light bulb or flash in the pan?

The plan begins to unfold....

International Business Policy, emphasis on management, ethics and technology
- minor in international relations/studies, foreign policy
- concentration on east/west, reconstruction, democracy, EU/USD
disseration:programs w/in complit depts to increase cultural awareness = political awareness -- look further into anadalusian music, poetry, history?
- take an international business/comparative politics/history?
- but I don't want my life in danger all the time

= consulting w/ a big education

- I need to get some teacher recs on file...allen, barnard, prince, dwyer, zuckermann, espey, hirshmann, love(?), Ty,
- internships
- live like a monk

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

"I don't want to think I may be doing something right. I'm too scared to admit the possibility of that. Because then game is over. Isn't it?"

Wise, sortof depressing words, Hugh - I dig it.

And on that note, I'm a puzzled girl!
But I guess none of us are blessed with the sort of clarity that everyone else seems to have.

One minute its consultant, the next political analyst, the next comedy writer/actress/emma thompson -- is it possible? Why did my interests diverge into such high/low careers?

Well, The Terminator is now governor of California. So I suppose there's hope. I'm gonna apply to the Second City summer camp - do writing/improv stuff. Should've done a long time ago...maybe my fantasy of being a british comedian/intellectual isn't so far off. I'm just gradually siphoning off the riff-raff.

How devastating are these 2 articles I found about hugh laurie? (while trying to find out what his favorite piano piece was -- ugh, I'm so internet crazy. ought to take to asking real people the things I ask google, i know it.)
Devastating artice 1

Pretty throrough devastation, hope, etc...

Insight into Hugh is a good glimpse of pathos in the face of constant support, encouragement and luck. So, this is sortof hateful. Whatever! Bewitching, no less.

They're just so devastating - in the way good looks can be devastating, rowr - what a fascinating guy. They made me feel a little bit better in a sort of stagnant way. I can relate to the guy, I really, strangely can (outside of the hubongo crush I have on him/his character/what he symbolizes -- snaps to Miss Blythe for putting to words all the crushes I've had in my life - its sortof a duh that she'd do that though) but come on -- I do allow myself to be proud SOMETIMES and not downplay it away - though I probably come off like old perpetually frustrated and unsatisfied Hugh anyway. That's ok, b/c its not how I think most of the time. Maybe someday I'll meet a dude like Hugh and I'll get how someone else, besids myself, could never be satisfied...maybe I have met one, two, a lot (@ Penn) and never had the chance to write an interview about them. But that's neither here nor there. I do now know what lugubrious means, though - penetrating articles good for more than self insight, also good for the vocab - which is pretty sweet, y'all.

On that note, Ii've tried to self-remove some old nail polish and i think I've taken some nail with it...hate when that happens.

I will share with you, oh blog, for the sake of my reading you at a later date when I'm looking back on my kooky post-college years (bless you if you're not me and you're reading this introspective molasses)...

My Books to read:

The Pythons (ginormo hardcover)
Art of Seduction (important for the knowledge arsenal - doubtful it'll supercede my usual hard-to-get manoeuvers)
My Life by Bill Clinton - (oh midwestern man with vision, lend me some)
A Moveable Feast - (favorite of Mom's -- she oogles over it when she goes into that overly human mode that sortof freaks me out b/c its like, you're mom not a person who falls in love with books! I may or not be spurned on to read it b/c Andy Reid likes it...bonus points to you if you know who I'm talking about)
Vanity Fair (conniving Becky may have some lessons to teach)

I'm hoping to finish these all by april or so. Tcha!

, this part's just for me. (sortof shows how work isn't really keeping the old bean busy enough - I love having a tired brain! havn't had one for months! how to remedy? hmmm.)

My to-do for to-day:
call about Guitar & Piano lessons
write fan letter to Emma Thompson
2nd city applications
get cool lip gloss at Sephora (lip-gloss addicion, guilty)
Find my old Prof. Dwyer papers/books
Buy Peter's Friends (done, thanks you amazon, $6!)
drink water
less distractions at work (oops)
-notably, i havn't gone to, though i do wonder what kate moss is up to.

oh, a web-based can't be the sign of my times! No more than to keep up with the way the world is going and whatnot. marc broussard has no interest in the internet - i found this out on the internet (, specifically)...sortof strange, huh?

Oh well, its nothing to worry about yet, though its getting rather close!

Speaking of freeing myself from the internet, I ought to get myself to the places I fantasize about soon - I need some reality. As much as I like harboring the dream, I don't like being naieve unless it's by choice.
I wish I could explain what I mean to you, but you know what I mean if you go somewhere expecting one thing and find only an outline of what you were hoping for.
I still believe in the outline, its just good to experience the reality that fills it...helps me to come back into myself instead of all my imaginary selves doing all these exciting things in my versions of various cities, careers, etc...

So - to go to: (I'll skip out on the careers to pursue)
Charleston, SC
London, Cambridge - UK
Italy (though studying italian culture ruined it enough to be sufficient)

San Francisco so far is the only city that's retained the dream...maybe Nice, France, too - but those are dream cities, famous for their escape-from-reality-like qualities...AND i visited them for a short-short-short time. It seems so dreary, going through life waiting to be kicked in the head with reality - that's not how I like to think, but it's an undercurrent, neanmoins.
I'm sure i'll be proved wrong about this whole disappointment crap, anyway - its only a matter of time until the post college malaise stops clouding my happy brain and some form of oceanic feeling sweeps on over!
I used to feel that at school, especially junior year - connected to everyone, my studies, living some sort of Dead Poets Society-esque life in pursuit of equal parts scholarly stuff, success and ballyhoo.
And so it will be again - just have to find the right stage for my proverbial show.

On that note, flights to paris are $292 for the month of march.
It could happen.

Oh enough introspection, I'm sqeezing it out - all I really want to do is go on a road trip.
Easy enough!

Side note: I got the 2005 Kiera Knightly (strange nose/lip area, that girl has) Pride&Prejudice and I thought that they didn't capture the Lizzie/Dad/don't marry a stupid wife b/c it will suuuuuck aspect of the book - and that whoever played Darcy made him more pathetic/shy than pompous was pretty ridiculous. Snaps to you Colin Firth, you did it better.
Pretty music though, and much prettier people (jane particularly) - making the whole courtship bits a lot less puzzling b/c the characters that are said to be "fair" or "handsome" or whatever, actually ARE - than the mini-series, which was much appreciated. For some reason I just can't stand that little Donnie Darko girl, though. my 2 cents, put in!

Off to be lost in my work (not


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