Wednesday, September 28, 2005

What happened to Miss Independent?

In a week from now, I will have tried out for American Idol.

Is that ok?

Its making me a little kooky, and I'm none too excited about the line-waiting, and the sortof weight-iness of it all.

I'll sing a song, sleep in the car, have a road trip - these are all fun things and I'm at a point in my life where this is feasible, so ok - and it's not a big deal, and I'm going to stop visualizing someone stalking me or catching me doing something embarassing - I've decided that the worst thing I can do is fall. And that's really more funny than embarassing, and in the long run, American Idol is not about inner-ear strength, but rather singing and being cool. More singing though - I think.
Hell, I don't know.

I have just read way too many (try 5 in the past hour) celebrity magazines. Too much Lindsay Lohan gives me the heebie jeebies.

Heebie Jeebies - this is what followers of the cult of psychobabble might call "anxiety."

No offense though. I'm just trying to avoid the sort of narcissism that if provoked, self-diagnoses an array of clearly absent mental ilnesses. No, I'm not a scientologist, and I don't think bi-polar disorder can be cured with a brisk walk around the block, some enlightenment, and a V8. Just please don't try to diagnose me should you be prone to head-shrinker-esque behavior-- I'm from the Midwest, and I was born in Mississippi.

Everyone should understand what that means. (If you're reading this, you're probs my pal, so you already know. Forgive me the condecension. p.s. My writing style is weird tonight.)

But it's really just the heebie jeebies - I mean, that Lindsay Lohan girl is somethin' else, and by somethin' else I mean that she is just hateful. She's the girl that every mother dreads because she's the girl who is torturing her soulful and timid 7th grade daughter not merely explicitly, but simply by existing. Am I the only one who has noticed that Lindsay Lohan has turned into a plastic? (and that Rachel McAdams is like, the most adorable celeb since Jennifer Love Hewitt?) I saw too many pictures of ol' Linds, and too much unmerited praise of her. Hollywood is no meritocracy (SAT word!) Someone must have a really persuasive PR rep. That woman/man should be hired by the Democratic National Committee. Him/her and the guy who does the Target Ads.

She's a disney girl gone wrong and it makes me sad.

Walt Disney - from Missouri. Need I say more...?
Ok, Brad Pitt is also from Missouri, but he's a lame Sigma Chi frat boy from Mizzou - no one was really expecting eloquence from this fella. No one with a clue, that is. Yes, we all saw "A River Runs Through It" ...listen to his commentary on fight club -- our friend Eddie Norton was scoring way higher on the eloquence-o-meter. Ok, so he scored well as on the pretentious-o-meter, but he's a smartie and well all know smart movies and actor pretention go as hand in hand as Jude and Sienna do, post affair - how she doesn't dump him, I dont' know.

Don't tell me that he's Jude Law and he's so sizzlin' hot that only a fool would dump him.
Paul Newman attractiveness was volcanic when he was Jude's age, and he still managed not to make a fool of himself and his wife, the lovely Joanne Woodward. Looks like there will never actually be a "next Paul Newman" - b/c last time I checked, the magazines were bestowing such an honor upon Matthew McCaughnehey and yep, Jude Law.
No dice, People (and US Weekly, etc..etc...).

Ok, 1,2,3, eyes on me.
Maybe its just weird to see all these people who are my age looking at me funny from the pages of a magazine.

Whatever! The fact is, it was a pretty day today, it will probably be pretty tomorrow, eventually I will find a place to lay my head long-term in NYC and the dough to pay for it, but for now - I'm going to clean my room.

First things first,

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